Safety

When to stop reading and get help.

Losing a role can take more than it first appears to, and it can do it quietly. If this has stopped being a difficult period and become something worse, this is the more useful page.

If you are having thoughts of suicide

Losing work, income, routine and standing at the same time is one of the recognised circumstances in which this happens to men in the middle of working life. It is not weakness, it is not a verdict on you, and it is not permanent.

Your local emergency number if you are in immediate danger. Otherwise a crisis line, your doctor, or someone you trust, in that order of speed. Free crisis lines exist in almost every country, staffed by people who have heard this exact situation many times.

This site publishes no telephone numbers, because a wrong number is worse than none and they change. Search for the crisis line in your own country, or ask your doctor.

If money has become the emergency

Not "I need to watch what I spend" — food, rent or mortgage, utilities, enforcement letters, or debt that has stopped being arithmetic and become dread.

This needs a debt adviser, and it needs one earlier than most men ask. Free, independent debt advice exists in most countries and is usually faster and more effective than people expect; advisers can often do things with creditors that you cannot do yourself. Do not take advice about this from an AI, including this one.

If there is a legal deadline

A settlement agreement with a date on it, a consultation still running, an appeal window, or a time limit for making a claim. In most countries those limits are short and missing one usually cannot be fixed.

That is an employment solicitor or a free employment advice service, today rather than next week. Nothing on this site will tell you what your position is, and the page about the process exists to say exactly that.

If the days have stopped having a shape

Not getting up. Not leaving the house at all. Not washing or eating properly. Days and weeks you cannot account for. Withdrawing from the people who would notice.

This is common after a role goes and rarely mentioned, because a man feels he should be coping. It is worth raising with a doctor rather than waiting for it to lift, and worth telling one person you trust before months have passed.

If drinking has become how you fill the day

Empty afternoons and no one expecting you make this easier than it was. It is worth raising with a doctor rather than handling alone. If you are physically dependent on alcohol, stopping suddenly without medical advice can be dangerous — seizures, hallucinations, severe confusion or frightening shaking need urgent medical help, not willpower.

If something physical has changed

This site observes that men in this position often notice their sleep, their back or their shoulders changing. Observing that is as far as it goes. Anything new, severe or worsening — and anything involving chest pain, breathlessness or collapse — is a doctor or emergency services, immediately and without reading anything else here first.